Larissa all I have to say is holy shit!! because that was 6 pages long!!!! I pasted it into word just so i could see and yea...*nods head* I really want to write back to it tonight. But i know it will take me like 3 hours to even get anywhere close to answering it in the way I want to. And i have alot of stuff to do before sleep yet. Too bad i just got home from work. :-/
But the one thing i do have to say is we're thinking on a completely different level. I tend to think above details lately. Words are meaningless. Different people have different opinions but essentially it's all the same. and grr i really want to say more but i HAVE to stop myself!
lol yea i almost just started up again but i'm doen really I am.
The bad thing is I have to rant about ryan now. Sorry larissa. It's just the main thing bothering me today...
So today kinda sucked. I need to start eating and sleeping more. Esp. cuz I'm sick and have been for 3 weeks. But right around lunch time i started to feel real ick. And when i feel ick I'm never quite concious. So I do stuff like miss my ride home because they come early. Well I don't think that was my fault really. It wasn't Ryan's either. It was just very bad luck. My chi:-P is against me lately.
And i was so determined that ryan would not drive me to work. and so was he but then all the sudden i had no way to get home. And now he's gonna lose his job because no one will bring him to work. And it's all my fault. No matter what we do it's all wrong. There's always something that could be done better. I just wanna be 16!! And everybody hates me and they always will. Its the end of the world... And really I just wanna cry(no i don't cry not me) but at the same time there's only 6 more months and we can do this. I'm determined. It's funny every wednesday I get at least one cute guy who asks me for my phone number and i'm always just like "nope sorry i have a boyfriend." Completely free of any desire to flirt. How could i ever wanna go out with a normal guy after ryan?(By normal i mean raging hormones and immature) I'm sure there's probably plenty of nice guys out there but no one like ryan. I'd be soooo stupid to give that up. *important note* If he ever wanted to be free I'd let him go...with reservations of course but with understanding. Thats just for all those people out there who think I'm obsessed.
Theres alot more i want to say... but I think opinions kept to myself may benefit people in the future.
I just can't wait until August 13th...