You know i knew that was a mistake. Never should have let her near my blog!! :-P Always creating so much mischief and everything. Bad Larissa!!! and now i just havn't the heart to erase any of it because she wrote so much and of such quality. Babe i apologize for all of the painstaking attacks on your masculinity. I know those really hurt... I tried to explain it to her but she just wouldn't listen. :-( and besides I know that your aware of what i really believe. ;-)

So i was at dunkin donuts working my ass off and larissa visited me today!!! and she brought me home and we were gonna try and go to the uconn library but it was closed this week. So we went to the mall instead!!!! and I spent alot of money!!! (don't worry babe it was all gift cards) and so yea i'm content with my purchases. I just wish i could have remembered the cd i wanted while i was at FYE!!! umm I'm sleeping over her house tonight and then shes coming to church with me tomorrow. and u ask why would she do that?!!! Well theres a spaghetti supper afterwards!! Yeppers I have my tricks. hehehe

It's so cool now that she can drive!! We can hang out EVERY DAY!!! HEHEHE (don't worry ryan and janelle I'd get sick of her neways) :-P lol just playin...love u riss:-) but u kno it's true...

ok well got to go...probably won't write for a while. Gonna be in Boston for a while. Have a great vaca everyone!!!

Larissa's Random Thoughts in Jess' Blog, written while she's sitting right here next to me and laughing like I'm insane

Larissa's Random Thoughts in Jess' Blog, written while she's sitting right here next to me and laughing like I'm insane

Hola mi amigos/amigas! Or should I say, Salve amica (since Nelle's the only one who understands that because she takes Latin *dun dun dun*)! Como estas? I'm real, um, "interesting", how's the world? Bad? Good! So then everything's normal.

We're really really really really really really bored and tired. Jess looks like she's about to fall off the chair, so I must write in her place. She never writes in this thing, all she does is copy and paste song lyrics (so hard, u kno), so I must fill this thing with the melodious sound of a voice saying whatever randomly comes to her mind.

Wow, my mind just went blank. Now I know how it feels to be a prep, he he he! Lol, I kno, VERY bad. Be nice Larissa, the world is a wonderful happy place and everyone deserves to be loved *spreads flowers while she skips around*. Bah, HUMBUG!!! Thank the gods Christmas is over, it's such a pain in the tookas (sorry for 50's-ish display of language, parents around the corner)! Translation, I hate Christmas!

Jess wants me to make fun of her. Now she's claiming she doesn't, but I know inside she's waiting to hear what lovely words will come out of my mouth about her, so here it goes. Jess is the latest person I have ever met! She is NEVER on time for anything! Well, maybe not everything. Then again, Janelle is just as bad. She can't even get up for school! Lol, and Jess says I'm bad too, but . . . okay, I am. So, that's the Rank on Jess moment of the day, if anyone cares to submit one, my adress is Jessisapain@hotmail.com! Thank u!

Aww, now I feel bad, my poor innocent hessica! So tired, so tired! Poor baby! No!!!! Lesbian half run away! Run away! NO!!!!!! I'm a good straight girl, really I am! And I'm not scitzophrenic (yes, my spelling is v. bad) either!!! I swear! Be quiet! No YOU be quiet!!!! Ahh!!!! Make the voices stop! Make them stop!

Oh please don't run away everyone! I'm not crazy! I'm really not!!!! These white padded walls are for decorational purposes, I swear! Come back, and listen to me rant. I like ranting, ranting is GOOD!!!! And fun fun fun!

You know what's REALLY annoying? People who invade their children's privacy. And what's even MORE annoying is parents who invade OTHER children's privacy! What, are your own kids not interesting enough or something??? Stupid people, get a life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, and btw, Kris is a very bad semi-bf, so I'm breaking up our semi relationship in favor of . . . someone else. Now who will take me?? Who who who who who? Maybe Johnny Depp *faints* will fall before my feet and recite me poetry *sighs*. Jess, however, does not appreciate Johnny Depp, she says he's ugly. Well f*** you Jess! Just because you got a man (he is a man, right?) doesn't mean you should squash the hopes and dreams of us poor, single girls!!!! Oh, and Jess would like to add that she has no control over anything I say/do because I'm a stubborn (insert fave swear word here), and that she's "sticking by her sexy man"! Isn't that cute? *sighs* How romantic!!! *gags* Don't worry Ryan (or is it, Ryanette?), I still love u (NOT THAT WAY, although I kno u want me to!!!!! You lost me buddy, you could have had it made!)

Oh, and if anyone cares, Jess is rolling on the floor in pain at my quote "nasty comments about Ryan". So she still loves you, Ryanette!

Lol, I've gotta go! I have a feeling I'm going to need to sign up for the Witness Protection Program after this blog, and I need to give the FBI some time to find a plane that will fly with a person "of my magnitude" on it!

Byeness!

Your Beloved Servant (and Jess' humble slave),

Larissa N. Jesanis
Professional B****

One of Us-Joan Osborne

I love this song!!


If God had a name
What would it be
And would you call it to his face
If you were faced with him in all his glory
What would you ask
If you had just one question

*And yeah yeah, God is great
And yeah yeah, God is good
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

**What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home

If God had a face
What would it look like
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like heaven, in Jesus,
And the saints and all the prophets

*Repeat

**Repeat

He's trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the Pope maybe in Rome

First, I'm kinda tired so this entry is gonna be retarded. so don't read it if u don't wanna read something stupid. lol. I'm just bored and feel like writing...

I don't know if I want a snow day tomorrow. I already finished all my homework so there’s no reason not to go to school. Plus if there’s no school then there’s no Ryan and I don't know if I can go another day without seeing my Ryan.:-P Stupid snow!! I wish I could drive. Then it wouldn't really matter. But I'm testing soon so not too much longer. The other thing is I have tons of weird chemistry homework that I don’t really get and I don’t like not understanding it so I really wanna talk to mrs. Coan about it.
I think my averages this marking period are pretty good. I brought my algebra grade up like wo. I think it’s a 90 something now. And everything else was fine last marking period so it should be pretty good now…
Apparently Ryan talked to Mr. Frazier last week and he told him we had something pretty good going on. lol and it was great after school the other day Ryan was waiting for me by my locker and when I got there Mr. Frazier asked for my permission to borrow him for a minute. So I officially don’t mind Mr. Frazier as much anymore. As long as he buys us breakfast and continues to make us do un-academic things in his class I might even start to like him. :-P
On Friday we went to Janelle’s National Art honors society thing and I helped paint these toys that they’re donating to kids for Christmas. It was a lot of fun.
I think Christmas Day I’ll work a double shift that way someone who wants to be home with their family can be. My family usually does everything Christmas Eve anyway so it wouldn’t a big deal. Plus the time and a half really makes it worth it. It’s like 3 days of pay in one.
Ryan came over last night. He bought me chocolate peanut butter cup ice cream and we ate a huge bowl of it while we watched Gangs of New York. I didn’t think he’d actually get over here because he’s never allowed to do anything anymore so it was a good surprise. Of course when he got home it was followed by an interrogation of whether I was naked while he said prayers with me. Come on people! I don’t sleep naked and even if I did would it be appropriate to say prayers with my boyfriend while I was naked? We’re not married yet. Even so my family watches us like hawks when we’re in my room and the door has to be open. I don’t know what you think goes on over here. Ryan is my sponsor after all. Would it be appropriate to do immoral things with my sponsor or anyone for that matter? He simply kneeled on the floor next to my bed and said his childhood prayers with me. Then he kisses me on the forehead, shuts the door, and leaves. That’s all it is so you don’t have to worry.

lol ok this has to stop. My blog is turning into the write to Ryan’s parents page. It’s all I ever do anymore. I guess that’s why I was trying to write about other stuff tonight. But I kinda defeated the purpose by doing it again. O well I’m really hungry so I’m gonna go eat an elephant. :-P and remember chew away from the customers filter head!!
BABE YOU BETTER GET ALL YOUR NOTECARDS DONE OR ELSE… i’ll be really sad, disappointed, and stressed out for you. :-(

You say it’s unhealthy yet never really specify how. No relationship is perfect. I’d be surprised if your marriage was perfect. Maybe you should perfect your own before you go criticizing others, especially at such a critical time in our life. The course of true love is rarely smooth. I’m just curious as to where your coming from because you seem to think all of these things but never really confront me. And it seems it depends what day it is because quite often you take different sides. I think you know how it really is. You know what’s right but you let your opinions get overpowered because of your love for her. Or maybe you’re just too lazy to fight it. I know how hard it can be because Ryan is just as stubborn. But lack of communication and agreement never makes for a good relationship. Don’t turn this into something its not. Everything should be so much simpler…
I’ve thrown a lot at you so if you wanna explain your criticism or defend your position in any way then go ahead. I’d welcome anything you might say with open arms. I’m tired of the fake smiles and certainly don’t like it when you talk behind my back or my families for that matter. They do what they can, so don’t drag them into this.

email me: moonlightfaith@msn.com

hey jess what are talking about? on the wed post?

Jess: don't worry it wasn't for you...

Jimmy Wayne-I love you this much

He can't remember the times that he thought
Does my daddy love me?
Probably not
But that didn't stop him from wishing that he did
Didn't keep from wanting or worshiping him

He guesses he saw him about once a year
He could still feel the way he felt
Standing in tears
Stretching his arms out as far as they'd go
Wispering daddy, I wan't you to know

Chorus
I love you this much and I'm waiting on you
To make up your mind, do you love me to?
However long it takes
I'm never giving up
No matter what, I love you this much

He grew to hate him for what he had done
'Cause what kind of a father, could do that to his son
He said 'damn you daddy', the day that he died
The man didn't blink, but the little boy cried

Chorus

Half way through the service
While the choir sand a hymn
He looked up above the preacher
And he sat and stared at him

He said "Forgive me father"
When he realized
That he hadn't been unloved or alone all his life
His arms were stretched out as far as they'd go
Nailed to the cross, for the whole world to know

Alan Jackson-Remember When

Remember when I was young and so were you
And time stood still and love was all we knew
You were the first, so was I
We made love and then you cried
Remember when
Remember when we vowed the vows and walked the walk
Gave our hearts, made the start, it was hard
We lived and learned, life threw curves
There was joy, there was hurt
Remember when

Remember when old ones died and new were born
And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged
We came together, fell apart
And broke each other's hearts
Remember when

Remember when the sound of little feet was the music
We danced to week to week
Brought back the love, we found trust
Vowed we'd never give up
Remember when

Remember when thirty something seemed old
Now lookin' back, it's just a steppin' stone
To where we are, where we've been
Said we'd do it all again
Remember when

Remember when we said when we turned gray
When the children grow up and move away
We won't be sad, we'll be glad
For all the life we've had
And we'll remember when

Remember when
Remember when

Ok so let me get this straight...You don't want me there after everything that has "happened"? Well it's only what you make it out to be. To me, nothing has "happened". So i'm not exactly sure what you speak of... The only thing that's occured is i'm being rejected by the two people in this world who i couldn't wanna be more accepted by. And it hurts...

I love you ryan i wish i had been a bit more chipper on the phone earlier. I'm sorry i didn't make it easier. I failed my obligation of stability. and I love you nell sorry i was so grumpy earlier... I won't complain to you anymore. I know you'll probably just carry it over to kim and irritate her more anyways...

I have SOOO much to do!!!!! :-(

Vacation was wayyy too short. But i worked most of the time...So I havn't really recovered yet...Still kinda tired. Wednesday i went to the mall with Mike and Ryan and it seemed like everyone from East Catholic was there. We saw so many people. A bunch of friends were playing counterstrike and ryan played for a little while. But he died alot so that he could come and be with me. lol After we went to mikes house and watched some tv and then they dropped me off at work for 4. Thursday really sucked cuz i had to work Bonnie's shift from 12-6 and shes really bitchy. So I just kinda came home and cried. Then i sucked it up and went downstairs to eat thanksgiving dinner with the family. Friday morning Ryan and I both had work so we came back to my house after work and took showers. Afterwards we went to the bank to cash our checks and shopped for Christmas presents for people for like ever!! lol thats when i said "i feel more married every day." Cuz it felt wierd shopping for Christmas presents with him. lol and he was just like awww thats great!! Then he took me out to eat dinner at the 99. Overall it was a really good day. Saturday we both worked really early again and at 12 we had to rush to my house to get ready to help decorate for uncle wes's surprise bday. the party was at this moose club place in tolland. It was kinda boring but we were together so thats all that really mattered. We danced to friends in low places by Garth Brooks in the kitchen and it was really funny. lol ryan asked the bar tender for a Gin and Tonic and she was like excuse me did i just hear u ask for a gin and tonic? and he was like no no just a ginger ale. :-P Mom got there pretty late and it was silly cuz i was like hi mom how r u? Can we have shannon now? lol and then ryan stole her from me and he was just holding her and rocking her back and forth and he put her to sleep. It was really sweet. We wern't bored anymore after she got there. He went home around 10 and were both reallly tired cuz we'd been up since like 4.
Sunday and monday have both been really boring. yesterday i surprisingly watched alot of tv. Today I almost went crazy and stole the car . We're hoping he can still come over tonight if he gets his homework done.
Andrea our manager is really awesome and she scheduled us both for wednesday night so we get to work that together too. The rings come soon!! They're suppose to get here on the 11th so only a week and a half more. I really can't write today. Its been too long since I've had coffee. COFFFFFEEEEE!!! ok jess wake up!! But yea I think i broke a rib because I really can't move unless i take like 5 million tylenol a day but at the same time i refuse to go to the doctor because i don't have time. and besides I already know she'll just tell me to rest and take it easy. I feel sooo old!!!! lol I hope every one had a good thanksgiving!! Jessie