I'm horrible at conquering myself lately. It seems I'm depressed for no reason like every other hour. Where's the peace?!! I'm trying really hard though. I think I'm just thinking about the world too much lately. Everyone's sins seem to weigh down on me or something. yea i know, but don't laugh. IT's just so hopeless. If i didn't have Ryan I might become a nun or missionary. I want nothing more then to just be able to help and love people. Devote myself to Christ. It's just so hard with the life I live right now. The stress of school and getting into college. After college i wanna move to Ireland or something. I can't raise my kids in this world of degenerizing moral. I don't even wanna think of what it will be like by the time they're my age. How could our parents and grandparents have let this happen? Why?
Yesterday someone told me there was nothing wrong with sex because everyone does it. Well I don't know what to say to that. It's a hopless battle. No matter what i could say, I'm outnumbered by people who think nothing of it. Satan is everywhere i look. Greed and desire envelope humanity like a rubber ducky in quicksand. We've dug ourselves in such a hole that we've forgotten truth, (whatever that may be). The real pleasures of life are overlooked for desirous self-diminishing ones. I don't mean to sound so extreme its just that it's an extreme issue if u see truth. And thats the thing, most people don't see it so they look at me like i'm psycho. But thats what satan has done to us. Hes brought us to a point where nothing matters. No one has their own identity anymore. If only people could feel the love of God. They'd never turn away again. He's sacrificed so much for us. It hurts me to see so many people openly reject him. There's good people too, but not nearly enough. "He who does not love does not know God; for God is love" (1 Jn 4:8).