hmm i should really write more often because now so much has happened that i feel overwhelmed and can't write it all down.
But janelle has finally decided to ignore me completely. It's sad yet i'm glad at the same time. Glad that shes taking this time to find herself and start over. Its just strange to realize that its finally all over. and tempting to regret some of it. But no theres no regret because it was a learning process. Its just hard to imagine what i was thinking at the time. What i do regret however is getting caught up in my own world and not helping her through things more. But it would have been hard to do it any other way. Time goes on and people change.

but neways last weekend was good i guess. Sat the last day janelle supposedly talked to me, Larissa and i brought her to Friendly's for her birthday. Or Flirty's i should say. Turns out that waiter guy Chris that worked at the Friendly's at the mall now works at the one in Vernon. And once again he gave me his phone number even after i insisted i'm happy and taken. lol I swear I think hes a stalker.
But all of this also had consequences resulting in Larissa's jelousy. It brings back her long time desire for a boyfriend. Jelous because everytime we go somewhere i get guys. So i told her I'd where polka dots and stipes if she wanted but that didn't go over too well either. lol She just said that then she'd then be too embarrassed to go anywhere with me. therefore she'd have to deal. If I could I'd give her all the guys in the world because I'm happy with just one. But I'm glad shes taking it well. Finally realizing things for what they are. I also should point out that she expects alot when she spends no time or effort in picking out clothes and wearing makeup.
Sunday Ryan came over. Faced temptation. lol i was kinda bad. but not too bad. Still staying strong. Later I went to the stations of the cross for confirmation. Could have done without that. but it went ok nehow. Just had alot more i could have been doing.
Today was just kind of depressing because i forgot my coffee and caffeine withdrawls are brutal. nothing when right. But it ended well in Philosophical conversation. just kinda scared that Ryans parents are going to hate me even more now because we were on the phone kinda late. but it was well worth it. gotta talk things out...
and my question for tonight...At what point does a boyfriend become a bestfriend? Are they one in the same? Can you have both? What prohibits you from doing so? jelousy i suppose. There is a finite line of balance and i have yet been able to achieve it...